Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
