ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
