I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
