do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
