so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize