I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
