Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
