I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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