I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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