rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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