He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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