Just cropdusted the office
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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