xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
