you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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