Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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