wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize