It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
