I'm jealous of your bromance
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize