I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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