Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
