why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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