were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
