I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
