How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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