you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
