My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
