conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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