It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
