Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
