just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He passed out mid-signature
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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