You're so nebulous sometimes
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
