Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
