...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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