so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
