fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
17 year olds will be the death of me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
