So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
