There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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