Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
