Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
