Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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