Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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