he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
