so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
