i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
