im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
