Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My pussy is not your playground.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
