weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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