i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
