We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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