very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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