The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
