I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize