I wish life had little blips of pornography
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
