id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
