Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
