You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
