Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
