i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
