I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
