You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize