Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
