There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize