If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It's just like the Real World with babies
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
