had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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