The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
