Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
