I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
