there's paper in my vomit.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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