hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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