Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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