so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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