Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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